Today, while doing my Spanish homework I had to look up the word "eso" in my dictionary. The sentence example under it read "Eso es lo que dijo." The meaning? That's what she said. I'm glad the Spanish speaking people share our sense of humor. MLIA.

Today, I noticed a folder labeled "For Protection" on my girlfriend's bedroom floor. It contained a list of all the spells used in the Harry Potter books, including pronunciation. I think I've found the one. MLIA.

Today, I looked inside my grandparent's mailbox for no reason. Inside I saw a sticker stuck to the top. It read "Child Alert! Do not leave unattended children in here." I'm worried as to how that became an issue. MLIA

I was entering a verification code on a web site. I couldn't read it, so I clicked the "can't read" button. A message popped up saying, "then go back to first grade." I think I've found my new favorite web site. MLIA

Today at McDonald's, I decided to get a "Mighty Kids Meal". I got the one with chicken nuggets. After I got it, I looked at the picture on the box. It said "6 Chicken McNuggets", and had a picture of 7 nuggets. Way to fail, McDonald's. MLIA.

Today, on Facebook, I accidentally pressed a key combination on my new laptop and all of a sudden started typing in Chinese. I then proceeded to have a fifteen minute chat conversation with my Cantonese friend, not knowing what I was saying at all. Once I restarted my computer, she informed me that most of what I was saying was gibberish, but I did manage to say that I enjoy fried sticky turtles and that my boots were filled with pudding. MLIA.

THIS IS THE BEST ONE EVER...
Today, to humor my little sister, I was watching JONAS with her. It was some episode where they were hunting a ghost. Nick was 'captured' by the ghost in the middle of it, and as they were searching for him, Kevin cried "Check the closet!" I'm glad that even Disney knows where to find the Jonas Brothers. MLIA

Today, I was sending a picture on my phone. I was curious why you can add 1000 words into the text box when on a regular text you can only send 160 per message. Then I remembered, a picture is worth a thousand words. Thank you Verizon. MLIA

Today, I went out early to buy more coffee. I went to Shoppers Drugmart and as I was crossing an aisle, I happened to look down it and see a woman sneeze, then fall into a perfect somersault, get up and keep walking. I feel I've just witnessed an act of ninjaness. MLIA

Yesterday, I took a field trip to a leadership conference. We sat in groups and had to tell the group our name and an interesting fact about us. Everyone else said a sport they played or their favorite color. I said I was hungry. A guy was sitting next to me and his fact was that he had a pop-tart in his backpack. He is now my best friend and we're going to the movies tomorrow. MLIA.

Last night, my friend and I were re-naming people and teachers at our school with Hogwarts name. Today I accidently called my chem teacher Professor Snape, he gave me a stern look and replied "What is it Mr. Potter". Win. MLIA

Today, I was touring different high schools trying to decide which one I was going to attend. At the one high school today was there picture day. Walking the halls, I saw two people, one dressed as a ninja and the other a pirate, there arms were around each others shoulders, and they were singing "Why can't we be friends." Guess which school I'm attending. MLIA

Today, I was in line at the cash register at Kohls and there was an old guy in front of me. The cashier then proceeded to say "Have a good day" when the old man left and he responded "Don't tell me what to do." MLIA

Today, my friend and I saw a table with a nothing but a sign that said, "Help yourself to anything on this table, but not the table." We took the sign. MLIA

Today, a balloon landed on my lawn with a note and 20 dollars inside. The note read "Dear stranger, Hope this makes your day." It made my year. MLIA

Today, I came to the gym at my university and discovered that the shampoo I forgot last week was still here. But now there was a post-it on it, which said 'Thanks!'.. 4 times with different handwritings and pens. You're welcome, pleasant-smelling strangers. MLIA.

Today, I witnessed my 7-year-old sister standing up to a bully at the playground, who was making fun of her asian eyes. Before I could get there to stop him, my sister kicked the kid in the balls, and stood over him saying "Yeah, my eyes are squinty, but you can't have kids anymore. Loser." I feel she will do great things in the future. MLIA.

LOL
Yesterday, at lunch, I was ranting to my friends about how much I hate Miley Cyrus and how pathetic she is. Little did I know, my teacher was behind me. Going to a strict catholic school, I expected a scolding. Instead, my elderly teacher added in a hushed voice, "She's a slut!". MLIA.

Yesterday, I was watching a TV show in which someone "absorbed" their twin in the womb. Me and my sister managed to convince our younger brother that he had done the same and were surprised to find he actually believed us, screaming "I ATE MY TWIN?!" He's 22. MLIA.

Today, I took the last tissue out of my tissue box, laying at the bottom of the box was a $2 coin. Thank you tissue fairy, you made my day. MLIA

Today, another female and myself walked into a previously empty restroom at the same time. After we had both entered our stalls and had been sitting in silence for a moment, she said, "well this is awkward." I don't remember ever laughing that hard in my life. MLIA.
Today I sat on a bench next to an elderly woman and was crapped on by a bird. Cursing I got up and wiped it off. As I was doing this the old woman turned me around and said in a serious tone, "just be thankful that cows don't fly." I now have a whole new perspective on life. MLIA


About a week ago while downloading something I actually decided to read the licence and agreement. In the middle it said "Wow someone is actually reading this? I'm impressed" And it gave me a link to a coupon. Guess who just got their free bag of laffy taffy? MLIA



Today I went to Wal-Mart to buy car freshener. They had the regular tree ones and one with a picture of Jesus. I'm not Catholic. But now my car smells like Jesus. And Jesus smells like strawberries. MLIA


Today, I was watching a scary movie on my laptop while playing Farmville on Facebook. Suddenly, during a suspenseful scene of the movie, my duck quacked. I almost pissed myself. MLIA



Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's six year old daughter. Dora The Explorer was on, and in the episode, there was a giant egg. When it hatched, a baby dinosaur came out and Boots the monkey asked "Is it a baby cow?". The little girl yelled "No, you dumbass!" then looked at me guiltily. I high fived her. MLIA

Today, my english teacher was talking about parts of speech. When we got to verbs she was explaining how they appear everywhere and they always need to be surrounded. Out of no where, she yelled "Verbs are the needy whores of the grammar world." MLIA.